Friday, November 25, 2011

Say no to marriage

Marriage is a big dream for me. But when some proposals reached the triangle, then i used to skip it. What could be the reasons? 

It may be due to fear of Loneliness and insecurity. May be the belief that a relationship is not a  solution to my problems, guilt feelings of my past, and a hatred towards men.
Most girls are facing these issues which are really complicated if there is no proper counselling given on time. I gave counselling to twenty girls about how to develop a positive attitude towards marriage. 
The sad part is that, most of them came back to me after marriage and said, they are big failures in finding those positive side of marriage. Hearing all these, I am still unmarried. 

Thursday, August 25, 2011


In almost all countries, Pedophile cases are considerably increasing. It require high level counselling to reduce this psychological disorder. Pedophilia (or paedophilia) is defined as a psychiatric disorder in adults or late adolescents (persons age 16 or older) typically characterized by a primary or exclusive sexual interest in prepubescent children, generally age 13 years or younger. This psychological disorder  of pedophilia is mostly documented in men, and there are some cases in which women also  exhibit this disorder. Pedophilia may be correlated with several different neurological abnormalities, and often co-exists with other personality disorders and psychological pathologies.

How to control pedophilia desire
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Many treatments are available that are aimed at reducing or preventing the expression of pedophilic behavior, reducing the prevalence of child abuse.

Self Control
The best medicine for controlling pedophilia is identifying it by the subject itself as a crime according to law or prohibited in religious texts. Finding alternative for sexual desire accomplishment is highly advocated. Reading moral texts, doing meditation and controlling sexual desire is ideal that will work as the best option for controlling pedophilia.

Without proper co-operation from the pedophile, it is impossible to control this disorder. 

Chemical Castration.
Medications are used to lower sex drive in pedophiles by interfering with the activity of testosterone, such as with Depo-Provera (medroxyprogesterone acetate), Androcur (cyproterone acetate), and Lupron (leuprolide acetate).
Gonadotropin-releasing hormone analogues, which last longer and have fewer side-effects, are also effective in reducing libido and may be used.

Psychopathia Sexualis

Dr. Richard von Krafft-Ebing wrote Psychopathia Sexualis: eine Klinisch-Forensische Studie (Sexual Psychopathy: a Clinical-Forensic Study, 1886) as a forensic reference book for physicians and judges. Sexual Psychopathy was one of the first books about sexual practices that studied homosexuality; the clitoral orgasm and jouissance, the sexual pleasure of the woman; and proposed consideration of the mental-state of sexual criminals in the legal judgement of their actions. As such, it was the medico–legal textual authority on psychosexual diversity, and a most influential human sexuality book until Sigmund Freud.

The first edition of Psychopathia Sexualis (1886) presents four categories of "cerebral neuroses":
  1. paradoxia — Sexual desire at the wrong time of life
  2. anesthesia — Insufficient sexual desire
  3. hyperesthesia — Excessive sexual desire
  4. paraesthesia — Sexual desire for the wrong goal, e.g. "contrary sexual desire" homosexuality, sexual fetishism, sadism, masochism, paedophilia.

Major Source: wikipedia

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Developing Trust in Relationships

The single most important factor in any type of successful relationship between any two people is trust. People can have professional or business relationships where they don't trust each other but those relationships are for convenience only and are not personally satisfying to either party. The man or woman who wants a successful personal relationship has to begin with trust. Trust is first and foremost even in dysfunctional relationships.If you look at the dynamics of a street gang you will see that the thing paramount among the gang members is that they trust each other. 
The purpose for banding together is for survival. For the individual member to survive he has to pledge his allegiance to the organization. He can then trust the rest of the members to protect him and the gang can depend on him to carry out their orders and promote its agenda. Every person on this earth wants to have someone that they can trust. Most problems with relationships are caused by a breech of trust.
Trust seems to be a thing which is dying in our present society. People today want instant gratification in this information age and trust or being trustworthy becomes the first victim. Big businesses as a practice have full time legal advisors. They don't necessarily do things because they are morally right but they do what is most expedient for the business. If there's a legal loophole they will take that loophole and make it work for them. This is the order of the day now. Real trust is the knowledge that you can freely communicate with another without having to worry that they will use that communication to take advantage of you. Trust is knowing without a doubt that the other person means what they say and will uphold their words with deeds as much as possible.Now we all have a different picture of trust which is based on our own psyche. The thing which may be unacceptable to one person is totally fine to the next. Part of our attitude comes from the experiences that we have had in life. If a person has been severely betrayed in life he or she will have a harder time learning or being able to trust other people. Many times we will damage our own relationships with other people by not trusting them because of our past experiences.
Trust is a precious gift which once lost is very difficult to regain. When we trust others we make ourselves vulnerable to them because they know things that they can use to hurt us if their intentions are not honorable. Once trust has been betrayed we are reluctant to make ourselves vulnerable again.Some of the factors which affect our ability to trust others can be listed. The one which is probably the most important is the type environment that we grew up in. If a person grew up in a home where there was no trust exhibited by parents or siblings they learn not to trust others or to be trustworthy themselves. This personality sees the world through different eyes than the average person. He or she sees life only as a game to be played for their own satisfaction. This person will never regard the trust of others.The person who is trusting by nature and has a habit of giving of themselves or making themselves vulnerable is another category of affected trust. Many good people will take advantage of this person because we are all self centered and want what we feel serves our own intrest. This person may have been the victim of failed relationships because of this and may find themselves locked in a cycle which is almost impossible to break out of. In order to build or rebuild trust you must start out with small steps or situations.
You can look at them as bricks in the building block of your relationship. Each brick must be put securely in place in order to build a secure structure. This takes time and can all be lost if trust if violated. Don't take the trust of other people for granted. Once you have gained the trust of another person be careful not to violate their good will. People know that you are not superman and we sometimes may have the best intentions in the world but for whatever reason can't follow through. People generally understand this. A few small transgressions won't do harm to your relationship but don't take that for granted. The Good Life
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