Tuesday, November 17, 2009

MY MARRIAGE THOUGHTS


  • Three rings of marriage: The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering
  • In California, there's a 6-month waiting period for filing for divorce, but only a 15-day waiting period for buying a handgun. It's nice to know the government is giving us advice on how to work out our problems
  • Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that
  • Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them
  • Marriage is a condition where no wife gets what she expected, and no husband expected what he was getting
  • Marriage is a book in which the first chapter is written in poetry and the rest of the pages is prose
  • Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener
  • Marriage is the only war where we sleep with an enemy
  • The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret
  • Married life is frustrating. The first year of marriage, the man speaks And the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
  • A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine
  • When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is
  • A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished

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