Friday, November 25, 2011

Say no to marriage

Marriage is a big dream for me. But when some proposals reached the triangle, then i used to skip it. What could be the reasons? 

It may be due to fear of Loneliness and insecurity. May be the belief that a relationship is not a  solution to my problems, guilt feelings of my past, and a hatred towards men.
Most girls are facing these issues which are really complicated if there is no proper counselling given on time. I gave counselling to twenty girls about how to develop a positive attitude towards marriage. 
The sad part is that, most of them came back to me after marriage and said, they are big failures in finding those positive side of marriage. Hearing all these, I am still unmarried. 

Thursday, August 25, 2011


In almost all countries, Pedophile cases are considerably increasing. It require high level counselling to reduce this psychological disorder. Pedophilia (or paedophilia) is defined as a psychiatric disorder in adults or late adolescents (persons age 16 or older) typically characterized by a primary or exclusive sexual interest in prepubescent children, generally age 13 years or younger. This psychological disorder  of pedophilia is mostly documented in men, and there are some cases in which women also  exhibit this disorder. Pedophilia may be correlated with several different neurological abnormalities, and often co-exists with other personality disorders and psychological pathologies.

How to control pedophilia desire
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Many treatments are available that are aimed at reducing or preventing the expression of pedophilic behavior, reducing the prevalence of child abuse.

Self Control
The best medicine for controlling pedophilia is identifying it by the subject itself as a crime according to law or prohibited in religious texts. Finding alternative for sexual desire accomplishment is highly advocated. Reading moral texts, doing meditation and controlling sexual desire is ideal that will work as the best option for controlling pedophilia.

Without proper co-operation from the pedophile, it is impossible to control this disorder. 

Chemical Castration.
Medications are used to lower sex drive in pedophiles by interfering with the activity of testosterone, such as with Depo-Provera (medroxyprogesterone acetate), Androcur (cyproterone acetate), and Lupron (leuprolide acetate).
Gonadotropin-releasing hormone analogues, which last longer and have fewer side-effects, are also effective in reducing libido and may be used.

Psychopathia Sexualis

Dr. Richard von Krafft-Ebing wrote Psychopathia Sexualis: eine Klinisch-Forensische Studie (Sexual Psychopathy: a Clinical-Forensic Study, 1886) as a forensic reference book for physicians and judges. Sexual Psychopathy was one of the first books about sexual practices that studied homosexuality; the clitoral orgasm and jouissance, the sexual pleasure of the woman; and proposed consideration of the mental-state of sexual criminals in the legal judgement of their actions. As such, it was the medico–legal textual authority on psychosexual diversity, and a most influential human sexuality book until Sigmund Freud.

The first edition of Psychopathia Sexualis (1886) presents four categories of "cerebral neuroses":
  1. paradoxia — Sexual desire at the wrong time of life
  2. anesthesia — Insufficient sexual desire
  3. hyperesthesia — Excessive sexual desire
  4. paraesthesia — Sexual desire for the wrong goal, e.g. "contrary sexual desire" homosexuality, sexual fetishism, sadism, masochism, paedophilia.

Major Source: wikipedia

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Developing Trust in Relationships

The single most important factor in any type of successful relationship between any two people is trust. People can have professional or business relationships where they don't trust each other but those relationships are for convenience only and are not personally satisfying to either party. The man or woman who wants a successful personal relationship has to begin with trust. Trust is first and foremost even in dysfunctional relationships.If you look at the dynamics of a street gang you will see that the thing paramount among the gang members is that they trust each other. 
The purpose for banding together is for survival. For the individual member to survive he has to pledge his allegiance to the organization. He can then trust the rest of the members to protect him and the gang can depend on him to carry out their orders and promote its agenda. Every person on this earth wants to have someone that they can trust. Most problems with relationships are caused by a breech of trust.
Trust seems to be a thing which is dying in our present society. People today want instant gratification in this information age and trust or being trustworthy becomes the first victim. Big businesses as a practice have full time legal advisors. They don't necessarily do things because they are morally right but they do what is most expedient for the business. If there's a legal loophole they will take that loophole and make it work for them. This is the order of the day now. Real trust is the knowledge that you can freely communicate with another without having to worry that they will use that communication to take advantage of you. Trust is knowing without a doubt that the other person means what they say and will uphold their words with deeds as much as possible.Now we all have a different picture of trust which is based on our own psyche. The thing which may be unacceptable to one person is totally fine to the next. Part of our attitude comes from the experiences that we have had in life. If a person has been severely betrayed in life he or she will have a harder time learning or being able to trust other people. Many times we will damage our own relationships with other people by not trusting them because of our past experiences.
Trust is a precious gift which once lost is very difficult to regain. When we trust others we make ourselves vulnerable to them because they know things that they can use to hurt us if their intentions are not honorable. Once trust has been betrayed we are reluctant to make ourselves vulnerable again.Some of the factors which affect our ability to trust others can be listed. The one which is probably the most important is the type environment that we grew up in. If a person grew up in a home where there was no trust exhibited by parents or siblings they learn not to trust others or to be trustworthy themselves. This personality sees the world through different eyes than the average person. He or she sees life only as a game to be played for their own satisfaction. This person will never regard the trust of others.The person who is trusting by nature and has a habit of giving of themselves or making themselves vulnerable is another category of affected trust. Many good people will take advantage of this person because we are all self centered and want what we feel serves our own intrest. This person may have been the victim of failed relationships because of this and may find themselves locked in a cycle which is almost impossible to break out of. In order to build or rebuild trust you must start out with small steps or situations.
You can look at them as bricks in the building block of your relationship. Each brick must be put securely in place in order to build a secure structure. This takes time and can all be lost if trust if violated. Don't take the trust of other people for granted. Once you have gained the trust of another person be careful not to violate their good will. People know that you are not superman and we sometimes may have the best intentions in the world but for whatever reason can't follow through. People generally understand this. A few small transgressions won't do harm to your relationship but don't take that for granted. The Good Life
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The Good Life

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Human Behavior Psychology

Human behavior psychology is one of the theories of learning based upon the central idea that all human behaviors are attained through conditioning. This is also known as behaviorism. Conditioning happens through the interaction of human beings with the environment. According to human behavior psychology,human behavior can be studied in a systematic, methodical, recognizable and observable manner with no deliberation of internal mental states.

The two major types of conditioning are:

Classical conditioning:A common method applied in behavioral training in which a response is paired with a naturally occurring stimulus. Further, a previously neutral stimulus is paired with the naturally occurring stimulus. Eventually, the previously occurring neutral stimulus comes to suggest the response in the absence of the naturally occurring stimulus. The two elements are then known as the conditioned response and the conditioned stimulus.Operant conditioning:This is another frequent method of learning that takes place through punishments and rewards for human behavior. During operant conditioning, an association is made between a human behavior and immediately a consequence for that behavior. This is also identified as instrumental conditioning.Major Thinkers in Human behavior psychology-
  • John B. Watson is frequently referred to as the "father of behaviorism."
  • Clark L. Hull sought to explain learning and motivation by scientific laws of behavior.
  • Edward L. Thorndike worked on animal behavior and the learning process for a major part of his life.
  • Ivan Pavlov was primarily interested in physiology, but his discovery of conditional reflexes heavily influenced the behaviorist movement.
  • B. F. Skinner's research on operant conditioning made him one of the leaders of behaviorism.
Strengths of human behavior psychology/Behaviorism
  • Human behavior psychology is based upon observable and noticeable behaviors, thus easier to quantify, collect empirical data and information while conducting research.
  • Behavioral intervention, token economies, and discrete trial training are some of the effective remedial techniques which are all rooted intensively in human behavior psychology, also commonly known as behaviorism. These techniques are very helpful in changing maladaptive, detrimental or harmful behaviors in both children and adults.
Criticisms of human behavior psychology/behaviorism
  • Many detractors point out that human behavior psychology or behaviorism is an exclusively one-dimensional approach to human behavior and thus such human behavioral theories do not account for free will and internal influences such as moods, thoughts, feelings, etc.
  • Behaviorism or human behavior psychology does not account for further types of learning, in particular learning that occurs lacking the use of reinforcements. Also individuals are able to adapt their human behavior when new information is brought in, even if a previous behavior pattern has been established over a period of time through reinforcement.
About Author 
I was born in Mumbai, India. I am currently doing my graduation in Psychology from the University of Mumbai, India. I felt the immense need to share such valuable insights with all concerning my subject. My site:
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Domestic Violence against Women and Children

by Daniel H. Swerdlow-Freed, Ph.D.(Daniel H. Swerdlow-Freed, Ph.D. is a Licensed Psychologist. 
Contact information is available at the end of this article.)

Domestic violence against women and children is a serious societal concern. Researchers have estimated that each year more than 10% of American women are the victims of domestic violence, and that three million American children are exposed to domestic violence. Research has shown that these children are also at risk of being battered by their abusive parent, and that boys who witness domestic violence are more likely to batter their own partners in adulthood.
Research and clinical experience have shown that batterers often display characteristics and attitudes marked by control, manipulation, a sense of entitlement, extreme selfishness, jealousy, a propensity to blame others, and a penchant for denying or minimizing the seriousness of their behavior and its consequences. Batterers tend to be unreliable partners in parenting and frequently hold unrealistic ideas of what constitutes appropriate parenting. In addition, they tend to be harshly critical of the other parent's weaknesses and shortcomings, while blind to their own deficiencies and limitations.
Some batterers take a lax or permissive approach to child rearing and leave this function to their spouse. Even though they disengage from the everyday demands of parenting, many batterers do not withhold judgment of the other parent's competence, and harshly criticize the other parent for any perceived shortcoming, regardless of how small or insignificant it may be. Other batterers display a harsh, rigid and authoritarian discipline style where they expect their spouse and children to immediately comply with their rules and meet their demands without question. Such parents typically have an inflated sense of their competence as parents and do not tolerate feedback that does not support this distorted image, or challenges their authority.
Parents who physically abuse their spouses provide very poor role models for children. Their behavior teaches that violence and aggression are legitimate methods to deal with conflict or get one's needs met. Moreover, battering a spouse undermines that parent's authority and teaches children that it is permissible to mistreat and disrespect a parent.
When a spouse is repeatedly physically abused, it is inevitable that the children will be exposed to this brutality, and its aftermath. Even when children do not directly witness violence or overhear it, they see its effects on their battered parent and are usually frightened by its occurrence and frustrated over their inability to do anything about it. The ability of an abused parent to provide nurturing, supervision and guidance is often severely compromised, and this lack of support can be quite harmful to children. It should also be noted that men who batter their wives are more likely than non-batterers to physically abuse their children as well, and, the risk of abuse to children increases with the severity and frequency of violence toward the mother.
Parents who batter their children are often minimally involved in their children's lives and provide minimal nurturing compared to parents who do not physically abuse their children. Because of their rigidity and inflexibility, child-batterers frequently refuse to compromise on day-to-day issues or to subordinate their own immediate desires in order to satisfy the wants or needs of their children. Furthermore, parents who batter often reveal a striking lack of knowledge and understanding of their children, and have no genuine comprehension of the negative effects of their behavior on their children's physical health and emotional well-being.
Research has shown that exposure to domestic violence is extremely harmful and has adverse effects on a child's normal development. Children who have been exposed to domestic violence are often more aggressive toward peers and display more behavior problems than children who have not. In addition, such children are less socially active, more worried about safety issues, and have more mental health problems, including higher rates of hyperactivity, anxiety, depression, and withdrawal, along with lower levels of academic achievement.
Boys who witness their father physically abuse their mother are at increased risk to abuse their girlfriends in adolescence and their partners in adulthood. Girls who witness domestic violence often believe that male violence is acceptable and they fail to take adequate steps to protect themselves when their boyfriends and husbands turn violent, blaming themselves for creating the situation which generates violence. They also tend to tolerate mean, demeaning and disrespectful behavior from boyfriends and husbands because they believe it is normal for males to act this way. Research has shown that girls who grow up in homes where domestic violence is prevalent are at increase risk to become the victim of abuse in adulthood.
This brief overview indicates the importance of teaching children that physical abuse, sexual abuse and other forms of violence are not to be tolerated, and that police, social service agencies and health professionals should be notified whenever there is any evidence that abuse has occurred.

Contact Information:

Daniel H. Swerdlow-Freed, Ph.D. is a Licensed Psychologist in Michigan with an office in Farmington Hills, MI. For more information, you may contact him at:
30600 Northwestern Highway, Suite 210Farmington Hills, Michigan 483341
(248) 539-7777
Dr. Swerdlow-Freed maintains a website with additional practice information.  You may link directly to his website at:

What Does A Sports Psychology Consultant Do

An Overview Of An Exciting, Valuable Field, By

Bill Cole, MS, MAThe Mental Game Coach™

Silicon Valley, California

Sports psychology consultants are fast becoming far more accepted and utilized as a valuable competitive edge among athletes and coaches. A sports psychology consultant can be your secret weapon in your mental training arsenal. They can help you dramatically improve your learning, training and performance.

This article gives you a broad overview of the world of sports psychology consultants. You will learn who uses sports psychology consultants, how they operate, and what they can do for you.
I was fortunate to be the first person in the world to earn an undergraduate degree in sports psychology. I did this in 1978 at the State University of New York at Buffalo. I later earned two graduate degrees in related areas, and I have been working in the field as a sports psychology consultant for over 30 years, in over 55 sports. I have coached thousands of elite performers, seven national champions, and world champions. Recently, one of my clients, Miriam Nakamoto, won her fourth world kickboxing championship, and became the first U.S. woman in history to hold the WBC Muay Thai World title.

Who Uses Sports Psychology Consultants?

Sports psychology is no longer a well-kept secret. It seems everyone in sports uses this mind coach, at the very minimum, to not fall behind their competitors. Indeed, working with a sports psychology consultant can give you the winning edge. Virtually every college, university, national team, Olympic team, and pro team has a sports psychology consultant on staff. Look at the representation of sports psychology consultants being utilized across the entire range of sports:
  • Major league professional sports teams.
  • Minor league professional sports teams.
  • Individual professional athletes in every sport.
  • Olympic teams in every sport.
  • National coaching associations.
  • National teams in every sport.
  • University and college athletic departments.
  • University and college athletic teams.
  • Individual college athletes in every sport.
  • Coaches in every sport.
  • Parents in every sport.
  • Individual recreational athletes in every sport.

High Profile Championship Teams Who Use Sports Psychology Consultants

The top teams in sports regularly use sports psychology consultants to maintain the sharp edge of focus, determination and a winning mind set. Here are five well-known superstar teams that have sports psychology consultants on their coaching staffs:
  • Baseball World Series Champions New York Yankees
  • Basketball NBA World Champions San Antonio Spurs
  • NFL Football Superbowl Champions Dallas Cowboys
  • NCAA National Football Champions University of Nebraska
  • Baseball College World Series Champions Stanford University.

Which Sports Most Often Use Sports Psychology Consultants?

This is difficult to determine exactly, but based on the sports psychology literature, and other evidence, it is probably safe to say that golf is #1 and tennis is #2. There are no other sports that come close to these two in the volume of books and articles that are written on the mental game each year. Indeed, top pro golf stars like Ernie Els, Tiger Woods, Annika Sorenstam, Mark O'Meara, Greg Norman, David Duval, Vijay Singh and Jack Nicklaus all have used, or are currently using sports psychology consultants on their coaching teams.

Look at some of the big names in pro golf who have used sports psychology consultants. It's estimated that well over 300 of the pro game's players regularly use sports psychology consultants:

Steve Elkington
Denis Watson
Kirk Triplett
Dave Stockton
Lee Janzen
Cameron Beckman
Brandie Burton
Stephen Ames
Chip Beck
Davis Love III
Nick Price
Brad Faxon
John Daly
Brian Barnes
Christian Cevaer
Hollis Stacy
Beth Daniel
Woody Austin
Retief Goosen
Padraig Harrington
Michael Campbell
Frank Lickliter II
Fred Funk
E.J. Pfister
Kirk Triplett
Scott McCarron
Payne Stewart
Corey Pavin
Ben Crenshaw
Bob Estes
Donna Andrews
Justin Leonard
Hank Kuehne
Michelle McCann
Brandi Burton
Mark McCumber
Rachael Teske
Ju-Yun Kim
Nancy Scranton
Bill Glasson
Brian Gay
Charles Howell III
Ty Tryon
Luke Donald
Jim Carter
Frank Nobilo
David Morland IV
John Cook
David Frost
Mike Grob
David Ogrin
Matt Weibring
Gary Nicklaus
Billy Andrade
Stewart Cink
Do these 55 golf pros convince you that sports psychology is a must to get the mental edge? They play golf for a living and want every edge possible. They are already strong mentally, but want to continue to improve and so they seek the services of sports psychology consultants.

Let's take a look at how a sports psychology consultant can help you as an athlete, as a parent of an athlete, or as a coach. Here are seven areas in which a sports psychology consultant works, and how they apply this knowledge to sports learning and performance.

1. A Sports Psychology Consultant Helps You Assess Your Mental Strengths And Weaknesses As An Athlete: You need to know where you stand, and what you need to do to improve your mental approach to your sports.

2. A Sports Psychology Consultant Helps You Work Better With Your Support Staff: You need solid working relationships with the key people who support you in your sports. That would be your parents, coaches, trainers, teammates and anyone else who can help you. A sports psychology consultant helps you forge these important relationships.

3. A Sports Psychology Consultant Helps You Learn More From Your Coaches: You need to know your learning style and needs, and how to communicate that to your coach, so you can work better as a team.

4. A Sports Psychology Consultant Helps Guide You In Your Career: There are many challenges and potential wrong turns in a sports career. Your sports psychology consultant helps you create a vision for success, and to execute that master plan.

5. A Sports Psychology Consultant Helps You Learn Mental Readiness: You must know how to prepare mentally and emotionally in your sports. A sports psychology consultant helps you devise a customized mental readiness plan for lessons, practices and competitions.

6. A Sports Psychology Consultant Helps You Enter The Zone: The zone is the master key to your performance success. A sports psychology consultant shows you how to get there more often.

7. A Sports Psychology Consultant Helps You Learn How To Motivate Yourself: You need a combination of intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation. A sports psychology consultant helps you achieve this delicate blend.

What Happens In A Sports Psychology Consulting Session?

Sports psychology consulting is a process, a learning experience. It's an opportunity to grow as an athlete and as a person. It's an enlightening growth process, and a very interesting one. You will learn more about yourself as an athlete, and as a person.

It's a special time that is all yours, for you to use any way that you see fit. It's your own personal mental training class and consulting session. It's a chance to receive personalized teaching from an expert in the mental game. It's a custom coaching class that focuses on your mind.

Here is what takes place during a sports psychology consulting session. This list demystifies the sports psychology coaching process and gives you confidence that your sports psychology consultant has your best interests and well-being in mind at all times. In the sports psychology coaching session you will be able to:
1. Discuss any performance issues that trouble you or concern you.
2. Talk about any emotional obstacles holding you back.
3. Explore any technical issues that affect your mental game.
4. Engage in creative exploration of how to resolve these issues.
5. Understand the mind-body connection and how to make it work for you.
6. Gain additional perspectives on your sports experiences and challenges.
7. Feel deeply listened to and respected as you discuss your problems.
8. Assess your mental strengths and weaknesses.
9. Devise a mental training plan to help you overcome mental weaknesses.
10. Discover learning experiences and exercises to help you become self aware.
11. Share the kind of things and ask the kind of questions you would normally not be able to share with your friends, parents or coaches.
12. Grow from being assigned mental training homework.
13. Be assessed on a variety of mental measures to increase your awareness.
14. Receive assistance in making better decisions about your issues.
15. Benefit from a viewpoint other than your own.
16. Make action plans to bring your goals to reality.
17. Learn a wide variety of mental skills.
18. See charts and illustrations to help you understand key concepts.
19. Learn self-regulation skills for emotional, mental and physical control.
20. Ask any questions you may have about your sports experiences.
21. Discuss sensitive issues in a safe, confidential environment.
22. Gain the perspective from someone who has been a successful athlete, coach and mental trainer.
23. Set up weekly and monthly structures that help you stay accountable to your goals and dreams.
24. Replace negative thought patterns with positive ones.
25. Help you realize higher levels of confidence.
26. Set goals that help you learn faster, perform better and enjoy yourself more.
27. Familiarize yourself with the zone and be able to enter it more often.
28. Navigate the sometimes turbulent waters of change.
29. Experience high quality communication skills.
30. Rehearse mental skills.
31. Have a dialogue that helps you think and solve your own problems.
32. Hear advice, suggestions and counsel.
33. Receive ongoing support and feedback.

Now that you know more about how a sports psychology consultant works, you may want to seek more information and perspective from these helpful links in sports psychology: 

Association for Applied Sport Psychology (AASP) 

The International Society of Sport Psychology (ISSP)

The European Federation of Sport Psychology (FEPSAC)

The North American Society for the Psychology of Sport and Physical Activity

International Society for Sports Psychiatry (ISSP)

Directory of Graduate Programs in Applied Sport Psychology

If you are an athlete, coach or parent wishing to improve any of the areas discussed in this article you need a comprehensive overview of your mental abilities with an assessment instrument that identifies your complete mental strengths and weaknesses. Here is a free, easy-to-take 65-item sport psychology assessment tool you can score right on the spot. This assessment gives you a quick snapshot of your strengths and weaknesses in your mental game. You can use this as a guide in creating your own mental training program, or as the basis for a program you undertake with Bill Cole, MS, MAto improve your mental game. This assessment would be an excellent first step to help you get the big picture about your mental game.

If you are a coach who desires training and certification as a mental game coach, you may be interested in the training program offered by the International Mental Game Coaching Association. The IMGCA certifies qualified individuals at four levels as Certified Mental Game Practitioners.

Sports psychology consultants can help coaches, athletes or parents in improving learning, training and performance. In the competitive arena of sports, you want every advantage you can get. The sports psychology consultant can be one of your most trusted advisors, and a key member of your success team.

1672 words

Copyright © 2010 Bill Cole, MS, MA. All rights reserved.

Bill Cole, MS, MA, a leading authority on sports psychology, peak performance, mental toughness and coaching, is founder and CEO of William B. Cole Consultants, a consulting firm that helps sports teams and individuals achieve more success. He is also the Founder and President of the International Mental Game Coaching Association, an organization dedicated to advancing the research, development, professionalism and growth of mental game coaching worldwide. He is a multiple Hall-Of-Fame honoree as an athlete, coach and school alumnus, an award-winning scholar-athlete, published author of books and articles, and has coached at the highest levels of major-league pro sports and big-time college athletics.

Sports Psychology Coaching website

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Using Sex Appeal

Article Summary: Your sex appeal can be used to get someone into your life that you want, and charm other people into helping you out in life. Sex appeal is a valuable tool in life as it not only wins you sexual relationships but also the attraction of everyone in your life, because you are such a charming person.

We've all got sex appeal inside us whether we know it or not. And we can use it to our advantage to help us win over the opposite sex for relationships and other things we want. Even someone who has tons of sex appeal can win over the same gender with it. Sexual appeal is an instinctual desire that we can't ignore. If we find some worthy of our attention we will give it. So how can you use your sex appeal to your advantage? Well first you have to know where it is! 

The first part of sex appeal is your looks. We get caught up thinking that the sexiest people look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, but the truth is that everyone is attracted to different looks. This means that no matter what you look like there is someone out there who will find you attractive! So with that said you may think that only a few people will be charmed by your sex appeal because you are their type but that's not always the case as your appeal goes much deeper than that. 

As long as you are clean-cut and take care of yourself you will be doing all you can for your looks, and there is not much more you can do about the physical aspect of yourself. Besides, sex appeal has more to do with personal qualities than looks. 

Your personal qualities are the biggest part of your charm. Confidence in your abilities to please the opposite sex in and out of bed is what other people will notice right away. Confidence in the way you talk, walk, and everything you say is the biggest trait you can have to sway people with your sex appeal. You know how there are some people who are just hard to resist? Those people have confidence in themselves and know they have what it takes to make people like them. Their confidence oozes out of them. 

Real confidence in yourself also brings about happiness in your life because you feel good about yourself. This makes you a joy to be around which of course is another huge quality that screams sex appeal. So don't pretend to be confident as that will not come across as sexy and real, but instead find your real confidence and feel good about yourself naturally, and you will find that it will work wonders. 

Once you have everything going for you, you will be able to pick up the opposite sex without a problem. You will be able to sway the opposite sex, and your own sex, into helping you achieve things you want in life. Your charm will win them over almost every time and you will find that people are willing to break the rules a little just to make your life easier. 

People will be naturally attracted and interested in you as a person, and that is good for all kinds of relationships, not just sexual relationships. Use your sex appeal to make your life better and make other people feel good about themselves and that will be the biggest payoff you can get.

Article Source:
About the Author:
Bellaisa Filippis
Bellaisa is the owner of the Relationship Circle. Check out the Relationship Circle's new blog at